Better.Than.Chocolate

Fear Fear

2011-05-26T12:41:00.000-07:00

"Good works of art take a longer time to do."

This is such a myth, it's not even funny. Good works of art aren't determined by the length of time you spend on it, but by what you DO end up putting into it, be it after five minutes or five hours of thought.

I believe that this is the very reason I tend to procrastinate my art. I take my time because I'm convinced it can't be rushed, and that creativity comes at its own pace. Doing art on the spot makes me cringe. Also, it has an after effect of making me feel that I haven't put in my best and a million other things could have been corrected/revised/eliminated completely. However, I've been proven wrong time and again by amazing artists who don't ponder for hours before painting, and instead work with spur of the moment inspiration. I need to crawl away from my shell of perpetual fear and just...just... do it! Fear of failure doesn't make you fly. It just means you'll never leave the ground.

Keep the Balance.

Press Play: Just be Friends - Piano Version [Yamai]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BXN8p2z60Q

Can we stop pretending that the world is never ending?

2011-05-24T10:39:00.000-07:00

Would it be weird for me to admit that I admire her body as well as her style?

Pretty edgy and she carries off the pixie cut with such confidence.

I can still imagine her in maybe...a polka-dotted sundress, an evening gown, a trenchcoat.

So very versatile ♥

Found on Trading pictures for 1000 words.

It could be us someday. ♥

Oh yes, I came across an amazing website yesterday, it's called Newspaper Blackout.

Basically, Newspaper + Marker = Poetry.

Take a gander, you won't be disappointed. :)

On a side note, I'll be listing what I borrow from my college library in this blog, just so I can keep track. It's like a land of rare and precious art books. >.< I still can't believe they let us take them home.

For this week:

The Age of Feminine Drawing

It's very pretty, delicate, and colourful. I'm very much attracted to fashion illustration so this book is just a happy place to be. It's so coy and elegant and very, very girlish.

Illustration by Makiko Sugawa

Fantastic Folders and Exceptional Envelopes

Mmm, I picked this up as some side research for a class assignment due this Thursday. It's interesting but wasn't really what I needed. I still can't figure out how to get the library's digital library to work so finding books have just been potluck and chance.

This Is Where The Heart Lies?

2011-05-21T13:42:00.000-07:00

When I look at good art now, I am no longer happy. I'm still in awe, and there might be admiration, but there is no joy in it and I will tell you why.

The difference between appreciating art before I came to my art school and now is akin to eating good food...but at the same time, you're listing out all the ingredients in your head, how it's cooked and with what utensils. In the process, you can't really enjoy the taste of it anymore. There's so much competition, criticism, tension, an amalgamation of negativity.

Also, the standards have been raised. The more good work you see, the more it takes to be impressed by the next one. I suppose that's why art lecturers seem jaded, in a way. They have probably seen it all. I know creativity is limitless and unpredictable, but art students are, after all, beginners in this field and will mostly make the same mistakes, hence creating similar art.

Competency in art contributes as well. If you feel your art isn't good (and this is a constant inner conflict for me), it will amplify the uneasiness when confronted with better art by better artists. This is like having to eat your own cooking because you have no other alternatives and every bite is as ash to your mouth. But if you don't eat it, you will starve because looking at other people's tasty food won't make you full, just hungrier.

I'm not saying this isn't a good thing. I'm sure it's a good method of encouragement to improve yourself but constant comparison and judgment can really bring my mood down. After all, you are your worst critic. I just don't know how to react more positively because so much time, effort and emotion is invested in my art, I want to at least like what I see on the paper/board/canvas. I could be perfectly happy with my art one minute, see something better the next and there it goes, I feel like utter cr*p. When will I feel happy again? Or have I chosen the wrong field?

Sigh.

Brace Yourself

2011-05-21T08:04:00.000-07:00

Imagination does not breed insanity. Exactly what does breed insanity is reason…. Poetry is sane because it floats easily in an infinite sea; reason seeks to cross the infinite sea, and so make it finite. The result is mental exhaustion…. To accept everything is an exercise, to understand everything a strain. The poet only desires exaltation and expansion, a world to stretch himself in. The poet only asks to get his head into the heavens. It is the logician who seeks to get the heavens into his head. And it is his head that splits.

G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy

♥♥♥

But, do I know enough of either to tell the difference?

From Within

2011-05-18T11:14:00.000-07:00

Glasses: What Can't They Do?

2011-05-18T11:07:00.000-07:00

Hidden

2011-05-06T13:32:00.001-07:00

And it would be the same one.

In The Next Room

2011-05-06T01:46:00.000-07:00

There You Go Again

2011-05-04T03:00:00.000-07:00

I'm Not Paralysed,But I Seem To Be Struck By You.

2011-05-04T02:50:00.000-07:00

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong.
No matter how fast light travels it finds darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.

- Reaper Man, Terry Pratchett

Intuition

2011-04-30T13:23:00.000-07:00

A Dancer's Grace, More Than A Face

2011-04-30T13:18:00.000-07:00

Adorable ♥

Walking On Air, Leaves You Nowhere.

2011-04-27T02:36:00.000-07:00

For Courage

2011-04-20T12:41:00.000-07:00

A sneak peek of my art. I haven't decided if I should

post more art stuff on this blog, but I liked this picture.

Traditional. Done in watercolour and ink on

cold-pressed Campap watercolour paper. (200 GSM)

A Mouthful of Diamonds, A Pocketful of Secrets

2011-04-19T12:59:00.000-07:00

Ok, lovelies, just a little random picture spam-post this time round.
I may jump around here and there, some stuff from earlier this year, earlier in the week and today. :)

Chinese New Year Retreat

Edible chocolate box for chocolates! Yes, that's actually a bite you see out of the cover. I was testing it out. :x It's made of sugar but it doesn't taste as good as the chocolates within. I found this in a buffet during my New Year family vacation. Pretty nifty, if I do say so myself.

LOOK AT ALL THE BUNNIES. Yet another amazing food-find during my CNY retreat. I couldn't resist taking some pictures. *cough, quite a lot cough*. Bunnies with hearts of lotus paste. :)

Seeeee, it's that adorably small, compared to my hand. Also, yes, I did my own nails. It's supposed to be silver-tipped, but it looks kinda white here.

Ok...just one more? Please?

You were delicious, Mr. Bunny.

Earlier This Week

This is a picture of the wedding card I gave Jason's sister. Mmm, looks innocent on the outside huh?

Ta-dah! It'll all french within! :) Quite a romantic idea if I do say so myself. It says:

"Félicitations pour votre mariage!

Nous vous souhaitons tout le bonheur du monde!"

Simply meaning, "Congratulations on your marriage. we wish you all the happiness in the world!"

But you know, it's more fun when you get cards like these instead of the usual congratulatory ones. It'll be fun to guess the meaning (though mine is pretty straight forward), and I even folded the wedding blessing money into hearts!

I hope they liked it.

Today

Hmm, this was taken today during an outing with my friends. It's a Japanese ice-cream I picked up at Shojikiya. When I opened it, it was like a face! :D The peeled-back cover looked like some sort of hair, hence the picture. The flavour itself was not bad, quite rich and creamy. I think it's worth the price (RM.5.90) since it's bigger than any portion Baskin Robbin serves and it costs less as well. (By the way, that's not me holding it so yeah...not my fingers)

I wanted to take some nice pictures of my curls but they didn't want to cooperate.

They look kind of flat in the pictures above. -_-

Erm yes, that's my room. Plenty of anime pictures and fan art on the walls. :)

Vocaloids! ♥

The coat hanger with the black material in the first picture keeps all my earrings in place, one of the most useful things I have here.

It was DIY, so nothing fancy lol.

Oh, and there's a strange orange reflection of light on my face because my reading lamp was on. I don't edit my pictures. o_o

Contrary to the picture, the bundle of stuff in the corner under my hanger is actually pretty well organised. I guess, it's kind of my vanity table, so to speak? I'll take a picture of it one day, it'll be fun to dissect it.

I think that's pretty much it for now.
*Yawn*

Goodnight! ♥

8) Your favorite Internet Friend

2011-04-18T11:43:00.000-07:00

Chatting online isn't my forte any longer, just so you know.

So this letter probably isn't open for negotiation. :)

The.Right.Words

2011-04-18T11:31:00.000-07:00

I'm the weird kind.

2011-04-18T01:49:00.000-07:00

Journal Cartoonist?

Sweetheart?

2011-04-17T14:00:00.000-07:00

Something Borrowed, Something Blue

2011-04-17T13:53:00.000-07:00

Just been to an awesome wedding with some cell-members. Aaron, Chen Lam, Sam! Haha, really fun

It was Jason's sister's wedding and he was kind enough to invite us.

Was kinda looking forward to it all week, so yeah, I wasn't disappointed.

Initially, we wanted to take the LRT-MRT route but the guys decided since I was wearing a dress, we couldn't take the MRT. I don't know, I mean, is it really that weird that I would be wearing one to a formal event? Lol! I hope they didn't expect me to turn up in a suit.

Safety reasons and all I guess it was sweet of them to consider it. So guys, you get a point there! And oh, not making me walk in high heels. ;]

The dinner started at 7:00pm, but by 6:50 we still hadn't found the place, kinda drove in circles since none of us were really familiar with the area but we got there in the end. Kept taking wrong turns. D:

So two wrong turns don't make a right turn?

The hall itself was huge, and for the first five minutes all of us were just staring around, complimenting the decorations and all, lolol. (As if we hadn't attended a wedding)

However, had to admit it really was a good set-up. We were chatting-complaining about the absence of food (traditionally late wedding dinner food only arrived around 8:30)-joking around. All around good atmosphere and music.

Later, Jason's Uncle and Aunt joined us for dinner, so...there were seven people trying to finish a 10 course meal meant for 10 people. Admittedly though we were hungry, we were pretty stuffed after the first two dishes. (five season variety and superior shark-fin soup).

Haha, after that it turned into a food battle to see who could withstand the longest,

and who could pass around the most food.

I kept getting aimed at since I was the "youngest" and therefore I need food to grow. -_-

Jason's uncle was amusing. His reason for giving me food was because he said my boyfriend wasn't around to give me any. LOL. What? I can't get my own food?

Aaron was being unhelpful in that department and kept poking my sides all evening because he found out I was ticklish. Apparently he finds my reaction amusing.

Then he keeps patting my head when I'm miffed at him, and once, when I couldn't eat anymore glutinous rice (WHY do we have such a heavy course at the end, it's crazy trying to stuff myself after 6 courses) he actually tried spoon-feeding me! Chen Lam too!

Guys! I'm not your baby sister, grrrr.

Music-wise, I would love to have a live-band at my wedding, just like this one! They kept the good stuff coming all night, mixing it up with nineties love hits by Matchbox 20, Train, James Blunt, Enrique and loads more. They even had some good mandarin songs going. But I can't name them, though I can tell they are famous ones since I actually know the tune and I don't listen to mandarin songs that often.

Very unlike any other wedding ceremony I have attended, but good. We sang along when we could remember the lyrics. :D

OMG YES, THEY HAD AN EPIC WEDDING VIDEO. With an epic trailer and everything, similar to the movie Inception. I want that kind of video for my wedding, haha. It depicted the tortures the bridegroom and his mates had to endure at the hands of the bride's maids. A traditional thing apparently, because once they complete the challenges they "win" fair lady's hand. :) Kind of romantic wouldn't you say?

But the games were like some of those Japanese game shows. I hope someone uploads it somewhere so I can link it here. Words just fail to describe it.

I should have taken more pictures, but I didn't bring my camera so I'll update the ones from Aaron's phone next time. :(

After the dinner, the we went to a mamak near my house (in the dinner clothes, wow, awkward) to watch the Liverpool vs. Arsenal match. Met Brian (another cell-mate) and his girlfriend Serene there, they helped book a spot. Well, as you know, I'm a hardcore football fan and I would stay up to watch the game.

Uh, No. Not really.

My mum came to pick me up a short while later and now I'm home, not quite in bed, but I soon will be after I send in my CoY! Designs.

Goodnight! ♥

PS. One photo for you

Trip

2011-04-09T02:01:00.000-07:00

Hear me out, girls who are constantly being called the dreaded C-word.

Uh-huh.

Cute.

So what does it mean from a guys point of view?

-----------------------------------------------------------

It usually means your body is about a 7, your face is an 8 and your personality is a 10. And you are under 5'4".

Cute is the default description for anyone or anything guys want to protect. So check your behaviour around them. Kicking off a guys protective instincts may well make you safe anywhere in the world, including Detroit, but it isn't going to help you get a guy. Try for a bit more vamp, a bit less little girlie. Note - that is VAMP, not TRAMP. Be more upfront about being interested.

Or maybe you should just learn to eat more neatly. Guy's can't be mopping the spaghetti sauce off your face forever.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yellow Nails Rule

2011-04-01T03:41:00.000-07:00

In The End

2011-04-01T03:36:00.000-07:00

I've been watching your world from afar,

I've been trying to be where you are,

And I've been secretly falling apart,

I'll see.

To me, you're strange and you're beautiful,

You'd be so perfect with me but you just can't see,

You turn every head but you don't see me.

I'll put a spell on you,

You'll fall asleep and I'll put a spell on you.

And when I wake you,

I'll be the first thing you see,

And you'll realize that you love me.

Yeah...

Sometimes, the last thing you want comes in first,

Sometimes, the first thing you want never comes,

And I know, the waiting is all you can do,

Sometimes...

I'll put a spell on you,

You'll fall asleep,

I'll put a spell on you,

And when I wake you,

I'll be the first thing you see,

And you'll realize that you love me.

I'll put a spell on you,

You'll fall asleep 'cos I'll put a spell on you,

And when I wake you,

I'll be the first thing you see,

And you'll realize that you love me, yeah...

yeah...

Aqualung - Strange and Beautiful

What Do You Live In?

2011-03-14T09:06:00.000-07:00

This cracks me up every time! LOL

One Day Left To Live

2011-03-13T07:41:00.001-07:00

Only Human

2011-03-13T04:50:00.000-07:00

Real men go for curves. Only dogs go for bones.

HAHA TRISHER.

Rosemary, Rosemary

2011-03-12T08:27:00.000-08:00

I think on our birthday's, we should give our mothers cake instead. They deserve it so much more.

It's not like we did much anyway, just sayin'.

♥♥♥

Tonight we celebrated my grandmother's birthday. It was a family feast at a restaurant nearby.

Mmm, Peking duck. They were cutting the cake(carrot with walnuts), taking pictures,

and everything just went by pretty fast. She looked so happy

sitting at the round table, and completely surrounded by her grandchildren.

When we were singing the birthday song, I wondered why we weren't singing louder.

In the cases of some of the people there, like we just wanted to get it over with and go home.

I guess I hadn't realized it till now, but it just hit me: she's not getting any younger,

and occasions like these are just hard to come by.

How would I feel if one day, I could not celebrate my grandmother's birthday?

Have I appreciated my grandmother enough?

Dear World

2011-03-12T03:21:00.000-08:00

To Japan.

Jump

2011-03-10T22:17:00.000-08:00

Just better than chocolate.

2011-03-10T11:15:00.000-08:00

Rose Crimson

2011-03-10T10:56:00.000-08:00

I loved you yesterday, I love you still,

I always have, and always will.

I really can't seem to blog consistently about my life, and I used to think it was because

I had no time. Now I have all the time in the world as

I wait for my SPM results and still! I do not blog. :(

What have I been doing since my exam? Been asked this question a lot and
I don't really have a good answer for it.
So I decided to review the list I made before my exams really took off,
about all the things I planned to do.
It's kind of the quintessential plan-to-do-but-never-finishes kind of list.

1. Enroll in an art class.

I have the art class down :) We've been doing basic sketching and are now
starting on watercolor painting. (By we, I mean of course the two unfortunate people
I dragged into this with me nyahahah: xian-meng and poh lian).
I may post up pictures of the art someday, but not now)

(A piece I did quite some time ago, but I still really like it. It's a cover design.
I took a picture of it on a board I use for sketching, one of the most useful things I have.)

2. Join a contemporary dance class.

There was a lot of talk about this between my friends and I but we didn't follow up, so no dance class.

3. Install Sims 2 + Sims 3.

YES, you read right! Sims Dos & Tres! I planned/hungered/wanted
to do this since I took myself off my Sims crack-life before my exam.
Really missed the downloads and just plain storyline fun.
I only made it to Sims 2 though, since 3 is completely foreign territory to me.

There was a period after the exam where I just couldn't keep my hands off
the game but an enthusiastic building project I started killed off most of the magic
for a few months. I got frustrated, so I've been keeping off the game for awhile.

Earlier photo manipulation done for a friend. Good times.
I don't think there was a story behind this one, though it's quite dark in nature.
I just liked the effect of blood on different textures.

4. Plan a trip to Singapore with friends.

This worked out really well actually! We went in January(Poh Lian, Sara and Div).

It was a four day/three night thing. Come to think of it, I don't know

why I didn't blog about it.. but ok, now's not really the time.

I shall remind myself of it later. It was exciting because you know...

first international trip with friends, no parents!

Haha, yeah...other things happened then as well,

but we'll get to that later. For now, have a picture.

Really, I know. Probably the most overused picture out there for a trip like this,
but I didn't have any other photos in which the four of us were together.
Left to Right: Poh Lian, Divya, Sandra (Me), Sara
The world is resting on our heads.

5. Shop
I don't really know why this is on the list, but I guess it's
because I ditched outings for a long time.
I can definitely say I've made up for it now. ;)

6. Book-hunting.
Numbah 6 is linked this page here, Linkette of my earlier post and the 22 books I wanted to hunt.

7. Art portfolio building.

Not much done here, I'm afraid. I should really get it done soon.

3 pieces of work at least, needed for submission and registration at The One Academy.

8. Visiting an advertising/design house.

My Dad suggested this in the first place, since he knew a friend in the business.

Uncle Allen was nice enough to have me around for a few days in his studio

and I got to meet the people there, talk about what it's like, etc etc.

I remember feeling stressed about this, maybe it's just the atmosphere.

They did the Schick: Free Your Skin campaign, which I thought was cool. I've been seeing the billboards about it for weeks in my area.

I remember this really caught my eye the first time I saw it. Hope I can inspire that kind of creativity.

9. Comic Fiesta 2010

Uh-huh. We did this! ;) A fine time to indulge in my nerdgeeky side with friends. It's basically a convention about anime, manga, all things Japanese, cosplayers,

you name it, they have it. It's two days and I went for both.

The hall was packed. o_o Our team took part in a challenge this year too.

Just a side event but so random, lol.

We had to scream and do crazy things.

Placed in fourth, no prizes but lots of fun!

Hope they have it again this year. I'll definitely be going :)

Some pictures. (This is turning into an all in one post for all the things I forgot to blog. -.-)

10. Prom.

Ah, didn't get to catch this. Funny how things that seemed so important and

inevitable to you at 13 just wash away at 17. I guess this is what they call growing up.

And I still have some more to do. Sigh.

11. Watch Kuroshitsuji Season 2.

I have the DVD. I have time. WHY AM I NOT DOING THIS.

Serrousllyyy, one of the best animes I've had the privilege to find

and I don't get to watch that many. I'll make a list on this too someday, but it'll

probably be very short compared to other people I know.

12. Get my driving license.

In the process of this :) I'm taking my practical in car maintenance in about two weeks time.

13. Install Granado Espada.

Done, not really much else to say really.

Elementalist: Cerisa

Scout: Quinn

Musketeer: Lancester

CONCLUSION: 8/13

That's..more than half right? (Joy) ♥

The Destruction of Construction

2011-01-01T09:24:00.001-08:00

Art Happens.

2011-01-01T09:17:00.000-08:00

A real life story of the modern artist in Malaysia.

I found this on a forum while I was browsing the internet one night and...I can't describe what I feel after witnessing such an account. I don't know if someone 'up there' felt I needed a good cold, splash of ice-water-reality but I ended up crying about it because it's... so true. And also, the reason being I would have answered the exact words in blue. But the red makes you think about what you really want to do with your life.

The end really breaks your heart.

The Cynical Artist.

The Hopeful and Naive Masses.

I had been in the CG line for 12 years now. When-ever there are some kid ask me if its good to go into this line. I will ask them "What do u want in your life?

1) Money?
2) Job satisfaction?
3) Flexible working Life

If your answer is number 1, sorry, art in Malaysia wont make you rich (May be 1 in a 1000 will get rich) after 5 years you may be able to get 3-4K, but to break the 5K barrier is difficult, then to break the 10k barrier is almost impossible. Unless:

1) U start your own studio (U dont need a lot of money to start, but u need a lot of money to survive)
2) U are good and lucky to get a good boss and u are the head of department or supervisor or something (Only 1 or 2 in a company, and has to be a big company)
3) Freelance (None-stable income + PITA to collect money)

And if your answer is number 2, sorry also. Becasue 80% of the time, what u do is not what u like. Changes after changes, u will end-up with the version that u dont like, perhaps u will start to hate it.

If your answer is number 3, LOL. Almost all studios now require u to work late, and guest what? U still have to go into the office the next morning. U work till 3 last night? may be u can be late for 1 or 2 hours. But what is 1 or 2 hours compare to working till 3 AM.

So if for those who like art and CG, just remain it as a hobby. When ppl told u that making your hobby as your career is fun. he is bullshitting u. U want money? Go study business, economy, Oil & Gas/ Aerospace Engineering, doctor, lawyer or even a start your own business nor matter how small it is.

U want job satisfaction? Well depends what u like most. U like Flexible working hour, become a sales-man, insurance/property/direct-sales agent. u will have plenty of time.

Trust me... youngman, before its too late. Dont waste your 3 years and 60K fees in this line. its not worth it. Trust me...

-------

Hello good sir !

I read everything you said and of course i've considered what you've said even before i started this thread. I've did a salary check on Graphic Designers, Interior Designers on jobstreet.com and it seems the average pay is 2-3k per month? That's pretty low. VERY LOW.

I love money, who doesn't? But it's not the ultimate thing i seek in life. Because well, i guess i'm not one who pursues materials or spend a million dollars on my family and houses and lands and properties etc. To me, i really have not much of an interest in that.

Well job satisfaction, well.. of course i want that. That's the reason why i'm enquiring about studying arts and all. Because it's true that 80% of people work for the sake of money and they do not enjoy it. So i don't want to be that 80%, i know it may sound naive. But this is my dream i'm talking about. It's my lifetime career, i'm not gonna spend my entire life running a company, doing business, perhaps cheating and backstabbing just to sit the highest position.

Being flexible is never an option if you wanna succeed in life right? Maybe i haven't experienced working till 3AM or so, but i'm currently in my school's Editorial Board and yes assignments to create layouts and stuff occur VERY frequently. I know i cannot compare to working till 3AM, but it's a starting point and it's good training .

I really thank you for your advise! It's not that i'm not ignoring it, or denying it's truth, but.. doing something i want, and going for the best college, and spending my whole life into a career, it really takes much thoughts and research, basically something i don't want to regret. I don't want to end up like 80% of people doing something they don't like. Or maybe someday when i retired, then i use my money to do Graphics and all, it's quite a waste to me.

------

May be i shouldn't post it at the first place. I understand your situation, as i had gone through it myself. Ppl said the same thing to me 15 years ago, and i react just like u. But after so many years in this industry, i see some ppl in the same industry doing good, but majority of us are still suffering from the low pay, long working hour nightmare. and i dont see there is anyway to change this in the near future. Art can make money, but not in Malaysia, not even in Singapore, and Hong Kong and China. If u manage to work in Australia or NZ or even better, US or Europe, by all means go for it. But its not easy to get a job there especially in this line.

After 12 years of doing what i love initialy, i started to think, am i doing this for myself, or for the client. Should i be so selfish to let my family suffer with me? How many hours can i see my wife and kid a day, or perhaps how many hours a week. Everyday when i go to work, my wife ask me if i am coming back for dinner, i can not give her an answer. And she ask me what time roughly do i come back from work, i cant give her an answer. And she ask again if i am coming at all that day, i cant give her an answer. I am like a police, i dont know if i am able to go home that day every morning when i step out of my house. U may think i bullshit, i am telling the truth, i live like that everyday. even on weekend when i need to go to my wife home town i have to turn off my phone, so they cant find me. I use to stay in the office for 2 weeks with all my cloths, underware and pillow. After that 2 weeks my girl friend break off with me. And i am not the only one that experienced this. If anybody already in this industry who never experience this, its either u are working in a not so happening company, or your boss is too good.

Try ask ppl who are working in Silver Ant or MFX how is their working life, and u will be surprise. I know we are all doing what we like, but the client and your boss use that as an advantage, to make u work like a dog. U may be willing to take it for the sake of love for art, u may be thinking money is not important, u may think that 14 working hours is nothing. but how about your wife, how about your kid? How about your old and lonely parent? Are they suppose to suffer together with u, just because your love of art? If u are 21, fine no worries. 25? Still good. 30? Start thinking about what u want. 35? 40? 45?

Go to any animation studio or post production and see how many ppl there are over 35. In this line if u are over 35, u better be someone, other wise u are dead. At least 50% ppl switch line before 35, and that is if u are lucky. Dont ask me how many ppl over 35 that i had meet in this line. But i am sure everyone of them had a sad story. And i even know some is over 45, and their career is over, its gone. And they dont know what to do, because thats everything he knows. And he had 3 kids to take care of, and the eldest son is going to college. His salary may be 10K, so it would be 120K a year. How much do the college charge u? 20K for a year. Thats 2 months of his salary. How about other son, they are going to Uni soon. How abot house loan? Car loan? May be your son need a transport, a bike? a car? Well, do the calculation.

For those of them keep saying this line is good, this line is fun, this line can make money. U are either too naive, too un-experience, or u are working for the college. Yes, art can make money. But not everybody. So if u have a rich daddy to give u the money to start a studio, u are lucky. If not, u are just a slave to your boss, to your client, and to art. Think about it, not for now, but for the rest of your life. Think what u want to do when u are 40. And come back here and tell me.

It's Death or Victory

2010-11-25T03:21:00.000-08:00

Six down, only 15 to go.

~~Bahasa Malaysia~~

~~English~~

~~History~~

Maths

Moral

Additional Maths

Physics

Chemistry

Biology

Literature in English

End date: 9th December 2010

♥♥♥

Today was a weird day for my head.

12 a.m. onwards -> Cram, cram, crammmmm...! *beep* Capacity Full!

What?! That was only the Form 5 syllabus! Where am I going to fit the rest?

3 a.m. -> Must....read....Form 4.... memorize....bed....bed? No! No bed!

Lord Cobbold! Sir Ivor Jennings! 1960!

3: 05 a.m -> Forget it. Bed it is.

My eyes were like this small by the time it was time to wake up. Then to school and Doom: Part 1 at 8:00 a.m.

Paper 1 for History was alright, not too bad. Left early so I could study for my subjective paper. I had no idea this was possible until today. The dumb thing was after I went out of the exam hall, I found out they locked the room where we were told to keep our bags. Apparently some people lost their money yesterday, so they decided to put a great big lock on the door. Um. Great for them. Not so good news for me.

You mean I'm stuck outside to twiddle my thumbs till the first exam ends?!

Luckily, no.

Poh Lian saved me. :D She was out early as well and had very cleverly stowed her bag right beside the windows, so all we had to do was open it, grab the goods and go.

Spent about an hour and a half being nervous/depressed/positive/hyperactive. Alternately, Continuously and In That Order while we studied the textbooks and worried each other about things we didn't even need to know.

Like how the Chinese and Indian immigrants came to Malaysia (by boat, what else?)

Or the second names of our 'national heroes' (who all lost by the way, but that isn't important because at least they tried to overthrow the Big Bad British). Why do they need more than one? It's hard enough remembering one.

Or that the Malayan Union was set to begin on April Fools Day. Yes, that's right folks, the 1st of April might have been my country's actual National Day, had the British succeeded in implementing it in time. They really do have a sense of humor.

COMMERCIAL BREAK: Don't you just want to pop the balloon under her head?

COMMERCIAL END.

By the end of it, I could literally feel the blood vessels in my brain burst.

It was an internal hemorrhage of information. There were words leaking out of my ears.

"Er, I don't mean to make you guys panic, but there's only five minutes till the exam." Mel.

It's okay Mel, we were already panicked.

Actually, by the looks of some of them, we had hitchhiked across the border patrol of 'Panic' and were currently charting a plane into 'Hysteria'.

So we sat for Doom: Part 2. I'm alive. I'm happy. Next paper's on Monday.

Woo hoo.

Our Plan Was Golden

2010-11-21T03:11:00.000-08:00

We painted that horizon, you and I. Now let us follow it with all our hearts. ♥

Darling,

Today's our anniversary.

It's been a year, exactly, since we held hands.

A year since I needed to stand on my toes to kiss your cheek.

I guess I just need to tell you that...whatever it is, I don't regret meeting you, knowing you

loving you. Especially the last one.

I know this relationship hasn't been easy, and that the words don't come as easily over the phone

but it just feels natural for us.

And when I say this, I mean it with all the honesty that words can give.

There is no comparison to what we have.

I wish we had more time. I wish for a lot of other things to, but if those wishes came true,

things would change, and the truth is,

I wouldn't change our kittens for the world.

White sugar sand, vanilla ice drink, apples (including evil ones), sketching in MSN,

the letters, every possible sitting location in Cabal, Espada the poisonous lizard, Parry, your silver keychains, Sg and My's Postal Service, Miku (the one that lives in your drawer), Taylor Swift (LOL),

and so much more.

♥♥♥

From a lifetime ago?

The three year old

2010-11-07T07:41:00.000-08:00

It's just the little things that get to me. ♥

You can take up all my time cause you're the only one
That can make a storm cloud break, pulling out the sun
And I can't get caught in the rain
Can I get your lips to speak my name?

The Ready Set - Love Like Woe

2010-11-07T07:32:00.000-08:00

Graduation Ceremony 29/11/10 - I'm the one with my eyes closed. I always do that in pictures and I have no idea why. :S

Ah, this is the one scene I won't ever forget. Div, this picture just sums us up. Sums us up. ♥

Yuet Ting. [:

Suspense

2010-11-02T03:42:00.001-07:00

Take Advantage of the Sweet Tooth

2010-11-02T03:39:00.000-07:00

I wonder how you eat that, it's got whiskers?

Written in the Stars

2010-10-25T06:06:00.000-07:00

Won't be online much till after SPM exams in December.

2010-10-20T01:59:00.000-07:00

Current screensaver on my phone. :P Noel Vermillion from Blaze Blue. Thank You. ♥

Can you say AHHHH?!

I spotted a poster on Designing Stationery Items in my school today! And it sounds really interesting. I want to join this so much ♥ The deadline is 31st December 2010, so I guess plenty of time after the big: SPM? I'll need to send it in like 3 weeks earlier though, knowing the state of M'sian Post, it probably won't reach in time if I don't.

Details:

a) Designs must be original creations. Replicate of any design will be automatically

disqualified.

b) Submission may be any of the following: A4 Pads, A4 Notebook, B4 Drawing Block,

A3 Sketch Book, and F5 Ring File.

c) Size of artwork submitted should be in accordance to the size of the product.

d) Choice of medium is free (e.g. water colour, collage, pastel, digital format, etc).

e) Computer print-out is not acceptable.

f) Acceptable software Adobe Illustrator and Photoshop. (300dpi resolution in CMYK

mode in actual size, in Tiff, or Photoshop format).

-------------------------------------- ♥ ---------------------------------

And when is the school magazine coming out again?

I want to see how all my layouts turned out! :)

So many things going on in school at the moment, graduation robe fitting is next Wednesday and graduation is on Friday itself.

Next Thursday - Open day for open dissection of my trial marks. They don't look good, I'm sorry. I mean some aren't so bad, but others are just ..... I know we can always try harder, our best, blah blah, but this is just demoralizing.

[Hang the merit system, I want my real grades.]

Next Friday - Graduation night at KGNS Golf Club. No offense, but grad night just makes me feel like I'm not really ready to grow old. I like being 17, thank you very much.

Tonight, tonight. ♥

Red Sky In The Morning, Sailor's Warning

2010-10-20T00:48:00.000-07:00

The flower grows in the direction of light, or does it shy away from darkness?

The truth is behind every nothing, there is always something.

You just need to dig a little deeper.

The truth is freedom.

7) Your Ex-Boyfriend/Girlfriend/Love/Crush

2010-10-20T00:28:00.000-07:00

Dear Ex-boyfriend,

Thanks.